I was never a fan of commuting. Even merely crossing a street or telling the jeepney driver to stop is a bit troubling for me. And my trip five days ago just reminded me of my interminable and obstinate abhorrence of traveling by public transportation.

The usual trip from my house (which is located in the South) to my apartment nearby my university is a series of transportation transfers that takes about 1 ½ - 2 ½ hours. First, from my house I’ll take a tricycle to the jeepney stop. Then, I’d be dropped off at the terminal where I’ll take on a 30-minute bus ride. Next, I’ll get off at the train station where most of the outlandish things take place and then on to another jeepney ride headed for my university. Finally, from there, I’ll ride another jeepney where I’ll be getting off in front of my apartment. It may not seem that dreadful but I am not exaggerating when I say ‘I won’t ever do this again!’ It seems like this experience could be included to my very own stunt series, “Dana's Most Exciting Stunts Ever”. The things that happen in between are enough for someone to just scream on top of his/her lungs. Besides the pollution, the FLU plus other infectious shizzies, and non-air conditioned vehicles, below are more reasons not to commute.

The Ten Things I Hate About Public Transportations

1. Lady Behind Me Talking Loudly On The Phone

Y’know, it is alright with me if you have to take an emergency phone call but this lady is just EXCEPTIONALLY and painfully annoying: 1) she was talking on the phone like there’s not a soul around her. Yeah, like a human loudspeaker; 2) she was arguing with someone on the phone and it was a nasty exchange. It was some sort of a squabble concerning some guy’s poor investment. PS: Nelson, whoever you are, let Romy have his piece of the pie.

2. Long Wait For The Train @ The Platform

Dude, I never thought I’d wait for a train this friggin’ long. Back in Japan, it was more convenient ‘coz they have fixed train schedules giving me the options of waiting at McDonalds and order a Mega Tamago burger and a Sankaku pie or listen to newly released CDs at Tsutaya in case I got there way too early. Then again, here, your contact lenses will desiccate first before the train arrives. Also, if you’re traveling alone, it is much more excruciating so always keep in mind to bring your iPod or something.

3. Girls Pushing And Shoving

C’mon now! This was the worst part of the trip. I do understand I showed up at the wrong time – rush hour ergo congested trains, BUT why do women, old and young alike, have to act like this? Thinking the people would be more decent, I settled on the priority area (for ladies, children and old people). But no! The girls acted like feral creatures struggling for survival or merciless wrestlers vying for The Belt. A spot on the train seemed like a treat the moment train doors open at every station. And yes, there were relentless squeezing, shoving, and hair-pulling even. It was like watching an episode of Girls Behaving Badly. Gawd!

4. The Woman With The Big Belly

I was being pushed on and on and ended up being sandwiched by people that they were literally breathing down my neck. It was grueling not being able to protect your personal space and breathing in and out the same oxygen and carbon dioxide with the people around you. And y’know, we can even concoct a punch with our sweats. Eeew! Forget that one. Anyhoo, there was this woman standing behind me and her tummy was so huge and round that she seems pregnant (but she’s not… really!). It was like cushion for my back but then eventually it started to annoy me. Her belly was bouncing on my back and it felt weird.

5. Old Preacher Lady

Despite the screaming, pushing, and cussing, there was this old woman whose loud threatening voice was incredibly disturbing. She was talking about the gospel and how murderers, homosexuals, kidnappers, etc. are to be burned in hell and some other creepy things. Some people were just rolling their eyes while some were smirking and laughing. I’d give her the props for her good English though.

6. Very Hard To Find Jeepney Stop

Okay, so after one hell of a train ride I went through what seemed like an endless search for the jeepney stop. There were like five of them and the one I’m supposed to take was the farthest one. I had to walk back and forth and ask a bunch of people for directions. How unluckier can I still be?

7. Coughing Guy Sitting Next to Me

So I was seated on the jeepney and gave a sigh of what I thought was relief. But I put my feet up way too early. As if by some bringer of never-ending bad luck, a nerdy guy sitting beside me was coughing his lungs out throughout the journey. I’m not even sure if he was really sick or just making papansin or something.

8. Pervert Sitting Beside Me

I thought the annoying coughing guy was the only one but then entered this creepy-looking man. He is such a perv! He was trying to really get close to me. And I mean REALLY close. It was like his arms were trying to touch my boobies. But of course, I’m not that stupid. I pushed him aside with my arm so that he won’t be able to come near me. Oh, by the look on his face, he was so disappointed.

9. Bicycle Accident

I got off in front of my university, dropped off some documents at the student council office and then headed out for another jeepney ride – this time, en route for my apartment. At that time, I was kinda tired of complaining so when I saw two bicycles collided with each other (luckily, none of them was badly hurt) and our jeep suddenly swerved and stopped, I didn’t really react that much. Some people were really caught off guard that they tumbled to the front side of the vehicle and shouted at the two bikers. But I saw it coming and just shrugged it off. It was a tough day, y'know.

10. People Who Kept Staring at Me

Maybe it’s my hair but y’know the whole day was just awkward to me with all those prying eyes. It was as if I was wearing some neon green tee and a huge “Yes, I'm an ALIEN!” sign plus a VS Pink underwear at a Chinese wedding. It was as if I was wearing a baro’t saya while partying at a Las Vegas hip club. What’s wrong, people? I felt like a gaijin all over again.

There’s just too much drama going on inside public vehicles that I’d always get stressed out at the end of the day. I’d be much more willing to pay even 100 bucks on a cab than set my foot on those “things” again.

>> D
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