As a certified club-goer and dance-fanatic, I have partially understood the ‘art of clubbing’ and have made mental notes on the various dance moves I have encountered. The names of the dance moves, I have coined myself, although some were inspired by correlated pop stuff.

I started making a list of wacky dance moves a couple of years ago back in Japan. There, almost every week, I have been a regular guest in Kyoto’s several local disco clubs. It was there that I have somewhat learned the art of clubbing. I have observed how men and women behave in clubs. I found out about the many vodka-based drinks. I know when the next ‘drag’ day is and where the hippest DJs are going to play. I have learned about club dos and don’ts, the number of tequila shots I can tolerate, the right way to deal with aggressive men, and most of all, the various dance styles and moves that are unnoticed and left unidentified – the simple and the complicated ones; the moderate and the nasty ones; the weird and the classic ones; and the lame and the cool ones. And now I’m pleased to share with you just some of them:

LOW

Low is perhaps one of the sexiest moves ever done on the dance floor. When “Shawty got low, low, low”, guys couldn’t help but stare at her with their jaws dropped. You start by gyrating or hip-swaying from standing straight and then going down lower and lower with the beat. The sexXxy effect is much better if you have someone standing in front of you as your ‘pole’. However, the ultimate effect is when you’re swinging all the way down with someone.

Note: No matter how discreet you try to perform this move, you will undoubtedly catch some guy’s attention so be prepared for the nasty nuisance coming your way.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is a crazy dance move in which a person or a group of people somewhat “reveres” a certain person. It’s not exactly bowing your head but it’s more like trying to get people’s attention to notice the person dancing (the “King/Queen of the Dance Floor”) at the moment. It’s kinda like putting a person on the spotlight. But, hey, you can also try doing it alone but that would make you look a tad weird.

RAISE THE ROOF

Who doesn’t know about Raise the Roof? Most of you have probably heard or executed this simple dance move already. It’s done in clubs to somehow boost the energy level of the crowd. You know the clubbers are on a high when they start doing this move.

SANDWICH

A nasty, sweaty yet sultry dance, this Sandwich is. Imagine being sandwiched by a couple of hotties while sexy dancing. It’s sensual to the highest level. This is usually done by threes but I’ve seen a number of instances wherein more than three people are doing the Sandwich together and if done the wrong way, it would merely look sloppy.

SHOWGIRLS

Showgirls is one of my favorite dance moves. It’s so much fun to do especially when you’re shoulder to shoulder with your bestest friends. It’s done just like how the masquerade or cabaret girls do it. New York, New York!

MIRROR EFFECT

The Mirror Effect is also fun to do. It’s simple: Either you copy your partner’s move or your partner will copy yours. When you’re arranged in a circle, you can do this by stepping into the center and provoking a certain person to dance like you.

FLY SNAPS

Fly snaps aren’t called “fly” for nothing! They sound pretty feroz and clubbers look old school-cool doing them. They are probably one of the oldest dance moves as you can see people from way back doing the ol’ snaps. Nowadays, though, snaps could be done classic or ghetto-style whichever way works.

BEAT CLAPS

Beat Clapping is, basically, clapping with the music. It’s a way to add energy and fun to the dancing crowd. When done by almost everyone in the club, the cumulative effect will be trance-like and tremendous.

Note: Do not, puh-leese, overdo the clapping. Anyway, it’s called a beat clap for a reason. You have to feel the beat and slap along with it. It’s all about the attitude and perfect timing.

WOOT-HOOTS

Woot-hooting is very entertaining and exceptionally enjoyable to do. The house will be brought down when the woot-hoots begin. It brings a lot of oomph to both the music and the place; it unifies the crowd. Also, consider that it’s much cuter when you combine the chant with silly dance moves. Boom boom boom! Woot hoot! Boom boom boom! Woot hoot!!

Note: Do not over-repeat the “woot-hoots” or else people are gonna be either 1) weirded out by you or 2) incredibly annoyed because of you. You must know both when to start and when to stop. You have to feel the crowd’s mood and again, it’s all about right timing, baby.