28 October 2008
Okay. So, the day before yesterday, I did some deep thinking. I was actually thinking. You know, weighing the options and looking for possibilities. I also did what my friend would always advise me in moments like this. PROs and CONs.
To give in? Or to give up?
To give in to something that is incredibly wonderful in some aspects but hopeless in oh-so many ways? Or to give up that incredibly wonderful "something" and try out something new? If I try to look at it, it's a lose-lose situation. Either way, I'm gonna be hurt. Either way, someone will end up in an effed-up situation. It's been crazy for me just thinking about this. At first, it really did not matter for I never thought I will care. And all this time I never showed I care. I was unfair, I admit. I was selfish, I think.
Now, going back to the day before yesterday, like I said, I did some deep thinking. The day after, there came an inkling. It's just a simple clue which led me to re-evaluate some matters. Maybe it was not a good enough reason but it sure did make an impression. Was it too early for me to give up? The good times we shared flooded over me as I was sitting on a couch, watching Mana Tancia cook dinner. "He used to cook for me," I told Mana with a wide smile across my face. Yeah, it was nothing extravagant but he has a way of making it seem very special. I thought he was a bit clumsy too, like a little boy, but it was adorable. Sigh. I wish we had more time. Maybe it was not meant to be. Still we tried.
It's just nothing for me, now. At least, nothing really serious. I just enjoy the talks and jokes. We're like two little kids just hanging around, waiting for the other one to grow up. I'm sure I'm still naive. I still got a lot to learn especially with this "thing." haha. But I'm not rushing, just waiting for the right time. And who knows, maybe it'll be someone else who's better or, simply, him.
For now, I'll say goodbye. I'll just let the chips fall into their proper places. It's better that way, right? Here's a song I want to share. It perfectly describes my feelings at this moment. :)
Song lyrics | Almost Lover lyrics
xoxo
D
To give in? Or to give up?
To give in to something that is incredibly wonderful in some aspects but hopeless in oh-so many ways? Or to give up that incredibly wonderful "something" and try out something new? If I try to look at it, it's a lose-lose situation. Either way, I'm gonna be hurt. Either way, someone will end up in an effed-up situation. It's been crazy for me just thinking about this. At first, it really did not matter for I never thought I will care. And all this time I never showed I care. I was unfair, I admit. I was selfish, I think.
Now, going back to the day before yesterday, like I said, I did some deep thinking. The day after, there came an inkling. It's just a simple clue which led me to re-evaluate some matters. Maybe it was not a good enough reason but it sure did make an impression. Was it too early for me to give up? The good times we shared flooded over me as I was sitting on a couch, watching Mana Tancia cook dinner. "He used to cook for me," I told Mana with a wide smile across my face. Yeah, it was nothing extravagant but he has a way of making it seem very special. I thought he was a bit clumsy too, like a little boy, but it was adorable. Sigh. I wish we had more time. Maybe it was not meant to be. Still we tried.
It's just nothing for me, now. At least, nothing really serious. I just enjoy the talks and jokes. We're like two little kids just hanging around, waiting for the other one to grow up. I'm sure I'm still naive. I still got a lot to learn especially with this "thing." haha. But I'm not rushing, just waiting for the right time. And who knows, maybe it'll be someone else who's better or, simply, him.
For now, I'll say goodbye. I'll just let the chips fall into their proper places. It's better that way, right? Here's a song I want to share. It perfectly describes my feelings at this moment. :)
Song lyrics | Almost Lover lyrics
xoxo
*I call you a "loser" but you won my heart*
Labels: Do Ask Do Tell, Dram-dramzzz
1 Comment:
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- Anonymous said...
21.11.08awwww :c
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