28 February 2010
"Scars" by Allison Iraheta
It doesn't matter who you are. We all have our scars.
No f***ing bullshit.
Forgive me for being kind of in a melancholic mode recently. The excess in black bile is starting to show, I reckon. I just feel like throwing some of my blah emotions in my latest posts. Don't worry though the madness that is DanaDaDiva will be back soon. ;)
No f***ing bullshit.
Forgive me for being kind of in a melancholic mode recently. The excess in black bile is starting to show, I reckon. I just feel like throwing some of my blah emotions in my latest posts. Don't worry though the madness that is DanaDaDiva will be back soon. ;)
***********************************
Do I bore you with my problems?
21 February 2010
00:07:00
I'm caught under your spell. Somehow, I'm entrapped. It wasn't the usual 'love at first sight'. That kind of Bam! didn't really happen to me the nanosecond we met.
But Bam! It happened so fast. It was that fateful day. I was walking around the hallway and I caught a glimpse of you and it was Bam! Bam! Bam! over and over again. I didn't know how to move around you nor even steal a moment with you. Now, I'm sitting here. You're moving around doing your thing. My cheeks are turning red but good thing it wasn't that obvious. Thanks, Maybelline. I'm butterflied but I'm trying my bloody best to hide it. Damn, why am I feeling like this? I'm usually incredibly cool and composed but now I feel lame. I think I accidentally dropped some of my coolness somewhere whilst I was stealing glances at you. Yet, I'm a good actress.
"You a'right?" and a simple tap on the back, your nods and sweet half-smiles - all I could do, all I could get. Lame. But it was heaven. Suddenly, "It's a wrap!" Gotta go home now. Pause.
00:05:46
I could almost feel your breath on my neck. What a magical feeling. Your touch lingering -- 1 second.. 2 seconds.. 3 seconds.. 4.. 5! Damn, it's making me weak. You're making me weak! I can feel your heartbeat skyrocketing whilst mine's about to explode any second. What are we doing? With every brush of your hand on my skin. Bam! Bam! Bam! I was looking around for angels. Perhaps they are hiding somewhere, giving us some alone-time! Thank heavens! Curtain call. Tomorrow's another day. Pause.
00:03:55
With you, I can never get my mouth to shut up. I can talk and talk and talk whilst you listen and listen and listen. Like I said, it was as if I'm under some kind of spell. I swear, if someone puts us in a room together for five minutes, you'll ultimately be able to write my biography. That kind of unparalleled connection and sense of comfortableness is so damn there; it's unbelievable! Then, we had to part ways. Temporarily. Pause.
00:02:14
I didn't expect it. It just happened. In that magical place where great things happen, I find you sitting beside me. My heart skips a beat. My nerves are failing me. Damn! I am bloody nervous that somehow you would notice that I am indeed bloody nervous. Then again, I'm a good actress.
You lower your head to my shoulder. Damn! You're like a baby. And a sweet one you are! I am fighting the urge to touch you and run my fingers through your messed up hair. I was trying to breathe in and out normally. Your spell is so bloody fantastic! Damn it!
I was about to ask you something only to find you already asleep. On my shoulder. It feels so damn good. Mmm... I wonder if anyone in the room has a clue that I was spellbound by you at that moment. So darn cute, you.
I am now staring at your eyes. I feel like a creep. Well, they were closed but I have your dark brown eyes pictured in my mind. You're incredibly mesmerizing. Your lips. Your jaw. Your wrinkles, even. Your scent. Damn! I think I've gone mental! I need to go out to try and catch my breath. Pause.
00:01:20
Again, I was struggling to keep my hands from touching you. It was difficult, mind you. So soft, so tempting. And when you're trapped in this kind of situation, your bloody mind goes on a frenzy. Should I? Or shouldn't I? It's a bloody mental state of mind.
And yet I couldn't do anything. I am just sitting here, acting all so cool when in fact I'm all tense and sweating inside. Heck! 'Sweating inside'?! Is that even possible?
You move a bit. My mind was screaming, "No! Noooo! Nooooooo! Don't wake up!" I turn to mush and the Aerosmith lyrics "I could stay lost in this moment forever" are bloody booming in my head right now. Damn! I'm usually not this fragile. You're driving me nuts. Ugh.
And for some darn reason, your scent haunts me. Everywhere I go, your name keeps popping up. It's really hard for me to stop it. It makes no sense to put an end to it 'coz clearly, you might have made me nuts but you surely electrified my only life. I don't know how long will this spell last but I was happy with that seven minutes of absolute bliss -- my seven minutes in heaven!
00:00:00
I fell.
I'm caught under your spell. Somehow, I'm entrapped. It wasn't the usual 'love at first sight'. That kind of Bam! didn't really happen to me the nanosecond we met.
But Bam! It happened so fast. It was that fateful day. I was walking around the hallway and I caught a glimpse of you and it was Bam! Bam! Bam! over and over again. I didn't know how to move around you nor even steal a moment with you. Now, I'm sitting here. You're moving around doing your thing. My cheeks are turning red but good thing it wasn't that obvious. Thanks, Maybelline. I'm butterflied but I'm trying my bloody best to hide it. Damn, why am I feeling like this? I'm usually incredibly cool and composed but now I feel lame. I think I accidentally dropped some of my coolness somewhere whilst I was stealing glances at you. Yet, I'm a good actress.
"You a'right?" and a simple tap on the back, your nods and sweet half-smiles - all I could do, all I could get. Lame. But it was heaven. Suddenly, "It's a wrap!" Gotta go home now. Pause.
00:05:46
I could almost feel your breath on my neck. What a magical feeling. Your touch lingering -- 1 second.. 2 seconds.. 3 seconds.. 4.. 5! Damn, it's making me weak. You're making me weak! I can feel your heartbeat skyrocketing whilst mine's about to explode any second. What are we doing? With every brush of your hand on my skin. Bam! Bam! Bam! I was looking around for angels. Perhaps they are hiding somewhere, giving us some alone-time! Thank heavens! Curtain call. Tomorrow's another day. Pause.
00:03:55
With you, I can never get my mouth to shut up. I can talk and talk and talk whilst you listen and listen and listen. Like I said, it was as if I'm under some kind of spell. I swear, if someone puts us in a room together for five minutes, you'll ultimately be able to write my biography. That kind of unparalleled connection and sense of comfortableness is so damn there; it's unbelievable! Then, we had to part ways. Temporarily. Pause.
00:02:14
I didn't expect it. It just happened. In that magical place where great things happen, I find you sitting beside me. My heart skips a beat. My nerves are failing me. Damn! I am bloody nervous that somehow you would notice that I am indeed bloody nervous. Then again, I'm a good actress.
You lower your head to my shoulder. Damn! You're like a baby. And a sweet one you are! I am fighting the urge to touch you and run my fingers through your messed up hair. I was trying to breathe in and out normally. Your spell is so bloody fantastic! Damn it!
I was about to ask you something only to find you already asleep. On my shoulder. It feels so damn good. Mmm... I wonder if anyone in the room has a clue that I was spellbound by you at that moment. So darn cute, you.
I am now staring at your eyes. I feel like a creep. Well, they were closed but I have your dark brown eyes pictured in my mind. You're incredibly mesmerizing. Your lips. Your jaw. Your wrinkles, even. Your scent. Damn! I think I've gone mental! I need to go out to try and catch my breath. Pause.
00:01:20
Again, I was struggling to keep my hands from touching you. It was difficult, mind you. So soft, so tempting. And when you're trapped in this kind of situation, your bloody mind goes on a frenzy. Should I? Or shouldn't I? It's a bloody mental state of mind.
And yet I couldn't do anything. I am just sitting here, acting all so cool when in fact I'm all tense and sweating inside. Heck! 'Sweating inside'?! Is that even possible?
You move a bit. My mind was screaming, "No! Noooo! Nooooooo! Don't wake up!" I turn to mush and the Aerosmith lyrics "I could stay lost in this moment forever" are bloody booming in my head right now. Damn! I'm usually not this fragile. You're driving me nuts. Ugh.
And for some darn reason, your scent haunts me. Everywhere I go, your name keeps popping up. It's really hard for me to stop it. It makes no sense to put an end to it 'coz clearly, you might have made me nuts but you surely electrified my only life. I don't know how long will this spell last but I was happy with that seven minutes of absolute bliss -- my seven minutes in heaven!
00:00:00
I fell.
[Image grabbed from Times-up]
**********************************************************
And I would trade a lifetime for 7 minutes with you...
14 February 2010
A/N | I don't normally blog like this but I was inspired by the profane yet wicked language of my barmy Brit mates. Hahah. Oh and I may have written this in 1st person POV but it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm the one being depicted in this senseless shower of thoughts. Don't assume. Don't judge.
Count the number of times I wrote "fuck" and "dude" if you're that bored.
Fuck. It's so hot! I took out my iTouch and decided to go through some notes... Shit! My KFC fries are all soggy now. Good thing this HotShots saved my fucking *hungry-to-death* day!
Wait. Interesting note I have right here: "I hate Valentine's Day". No fucking bollocks.
All of a sudden, someone takes a seat next to me. Do you really have to sit this fucking close to me!? G'sakes! It's mad hot already. Where are the rain dancers when you need them?
People kept coming into our jeepney. Yea, our jeepney. Because I've been fucking sitting here all the way from the terminal. It's been twenty minutes and both my head and my arse are fucking grilled now. Twenty-fucking-minutes of putting my fingers in and out of this KFC HotShots box of awesomeness and twenty-fucking-minutes of pretending I'm entertained by my iTouch. I need a beer. A can of Heineken, to be exact.
This person next to me... Poor dude. He's been handing in other passengers' fares to the driver for over 10 minutes now. Give the dude a fucking break! Dude has no fucking choice though. By now, you may have noticed that I named this person, Dude.
No, really. Poor Dude. Have some fucking mercy, will you? Dude has got some fantastic patience and self-control. No complaining or grunting heard yet. I'm quite impressed.
Hmmm... Dude has got nice hair. Nice scent too. But damn it's still so fucking hot and I'm still damn bored. I need to sprinkle this oven-like day some spice! Perhaps throw a fucking bowl of spice in!
A little less than five minutes 'til destination. What to do... What to do? Do what you're friggin' good at! Alright. Poor Dude sitting next to me, I wanna start a game.
And poor Dude, you are my fucking victim. Lo siento.
Dude passed on yet another fare to the driver. A passenger is waiting for his change... The driver stretched out his right hand backwards to return change. I grabbed it quickly just seconds before Dude. I have mercy. Or let me show some mercy. I still have a heart, y'know.
-- Perhaps you've been a bit taken aback by my sudden show of compassion. I like that. I try to hide the smirk on my face. Back to the scene --
I took the change from the driver and slowly, carefully moved my hand to find his. Slowly and carefully, one by one, I handed Dude the change. Skin to skin. I can feel the tension now. I'm making him really nervous. I'm absolutely loving this! He felt it too. He's turned awkward, truth be told. Dude indeed fucking felt it! Welcome to the game, Player 2.
Round 1. Fight! I bit my lower lip. Hoping Dude won't notice me struggling to keep myself from smiling. I failed as a half-smile escaped from my face. Boo me!
"Don't Jedi mind-trick me." I can somehow read his thoughts. After all, I'm the Queen of Fucking Mind Games, innit? His movements are starting to bother me now. Dude's nerves are betraying him. I do kick arse in this game. Whizzer!
I bet Dude's fucking racking his brain right about now. I can feel his eyes boring into me. He's probably thinking, "What the hell does she want?" Perhaps Dude wants some answers. A legit response. A wink or a smile, at least. 3 Combo Hit! I gave him neither. I rummaged through my gym bag to look for my phone... Checked 4 unread messages. Too lazy to reply. So much for my fake apathy. I need to strike more. More action. Fucking hot and boring.
A glance sideways in Dude's direction... Fuck! Dude's squirming and sweating. I'm not sure if it's the weather or this fucking tension from this game we're playing.
Time remaining: 45 seconds
I can't pretend anymore! It's time for the Finishing Move - my killer stare! I said 'stare', NOT glare! Bam! Hot! -- Both Dude and the weather. So fucking nice and fucking hot. It's the clash of spark-filled stares. Then I looked away. K.O.! Player 1 Wins! I turned to the driver and asked him to stop. I got off the jeepney with an uppish smile.
Dude's left inside sitting with a questioning look. His eyes squinting. I may be the first one to leave but I fucking won. Chuckling, I hop-skipped towards the waiting shed and gave my boyfriend the biggest kiss.
Game Over.
***************************************************
Whew. That was an awful lot of fuck. LOL
Count the number of times I wrote "fuck" and "dude" if you're that bored.
o O o
Riding on this jeepney, seems like people are seated too far away from me. Do I look that fucking scary? I can see from the corner of my eye, creepy stares from afar.Fuck. It's so hot! I took out my iTouch and decided to go through some notes... Shit! My KFC fries are all soggy now. Good thing this HotShots saved my fucking *hungry-to-death* day!
Wait. Interesting note I have right here: "I hate Valentine's Day". No fucking bollocks.
All of a sudden, someone takes a seat next to me. Do you really have to sit this fucking close to me!? G'sakes! It's mad hot already. Where are the rain dancers when you need them?
People kept coming into our jeepney. Yea, our jeepney. Because I've been fucking sitting here all the way from the terminal. It's been twenty minutes and both my head and my arse are fucking grilled now. Twenty-fucking-minutes of putting my fingers in and out of this KFC HotShots box of awesomeness and twenty-fucking-minutes of pretending I'm entertained by my iTouch. I need a beer. A can of Heineken, to be exact.
This person next to me... Poor dude. He's been handing in other passengers' fares to the driver for over 10 minutes now. Give the dude a fucking break! Dude has no fucking choice though. By now, you may have noticed that I named this person, Dude.
No, really. Poor Dude. Have some fucking mercy, will you? Dude has got some fantastic patience and self-control. No complaining or grunting heard yet. I'm quite impressed.
Hmmm... Dude has got nice hair. Nice scent too. But damn it's still so fucking hot and I'm still damn bored. I need to sprinkle this oven-like day some spice! Perhaps throw a fucking bowl of spice in!
A little less than five minutes 'til destination. What to do... What to do? Do what you're friggin' good at! Alright. Poor Dude sitting next to me, I wanna start a game.
And poor Dude, you are my fucking victim. Lo siento.
Dude passed on yet another fare to the driver. A passenger is waiting for his change... The driver stretched out his right hand backwards to return change. I grabbed it quickly just seconds before Dude. I have mercy. Or let me show some mercy. I still have a heart, y'know.
-- Perhaps you've been a bit taken aback by my sudden show of compassion. I like that. I try to hide the smirk on my face. Back to the scene --
I took the change from the driver and slowly, carefully moved my hand to find his. Slowly and carefully, one by one, I handed Dude the change. Skin to skin. I can feel the tension now. I'm making him really nervous. I'm absolutely loving this! He felt it too. He's turned awkward, truth be told. Dude indeed fucking felt it! Welcome to the game, Player 2.
Round 1. Fight! I bit my lower lip. Hoping Dude won't notice me struggling to keep myself from smiling. I failed as a half-smile escaped from my face. Boo me!
"Don't Jedi mind-trick me." I can somehow read his thoughts. After all, I'm the Queen of Fucking Mind Games, innit? His movements are starting to bother me now. Dude's nerves are betraying him. I do kick arse in this game. Whizzer!
I bet Dude's fucking racking his brain right about now. I can feel his eyes boring into me. He's probably thinking, "What the hell does she want?" Perhaps Dude wants some answers. A legit response. A wink or a smile, at least. 3 Combo Hit! I gave him neither. I rummaged through my gym bag to look for my phone... Checked 4 unread messages. Too lazy to reply. So much for my fake apathy. I need to strike more. More action. Fucking hot and boring.
A glance sideways in Dude's direction... Fuck! Dude's squirming and sweating. I'm not sure if it's the weather or this fucking tension from this game we're playing.
Time remaining: 45 seconds
I can't pretend anymore! It's time for the Finishing Move - my killer stare! I said 'stare', NOT glare! Bam! Hot! -- Both Dude and the weather. So fucking nice and fucking hot. It's the clash of spark-filled stares. Then I looked away. K.O.! Player 1 Wins! I turned to the driver and asked him to stop. I got off the jeepney with an uppish smile.
Dude's left inside sitting with a questioning look. His eyes squinting. I may be the first one to leave but I fucking won. Chuckling, I hop-skipped towards the waiting shed and gave my boyfriend the biggest kiss.
Game Over.
***************************************************
Whew. That was an awful lot of fuck. LOL
;;
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