30 October 2008
We were having this little tête-à-tête while my other friends were at the surfboard section and that’s when I felt uncomfortable. His questions began to alarm me. I excused myself and came over to join my friends. Two of them signed up on the shop’s logbook for them to be updated about the surfboards. So I just stood there, with all of my buds in front of the cashier, waiting to leave any second. Out of the blue, the sales guy walked in front of us and pointed at me saying, “That girl wearing black (which is obviously me) seems like a skilled surfer…” followed by a kinda-hard-to-decline request: “Why don’t you sign up?” I told them that I’m not much of a surfer so I’m not really sure if I’m interested. With that, he jumped beside me and gave me these skateboard blah-blah event fliers and offered me his mobile number just in case I wanted a heads-up. I did not buy it though. He was very insistent but then resorted with the just-give-us-your-number trick (could you be any more obvious?) and I went along with it and wrote down my name (which he repeated as I write) and mobile number. I felt awkward and I knew what he was really up to but I was too damn nice to let it happen. That clever guy! Haha. So anyway, now he’s sending me messages (so unprofessional, eh?) but I’m not replying. Now, who wins?
*A goofy character in the MTV reality series Laguna Beach
xoxo
D
28 October 2008
To give in? Or to give up?
To give in to something that is incredibly wonderful in some aspects but hopeless in oh-so many ways? Or to give up that incredibly wonderful "something" and try out something new? If I try to look at it, it's a lose-lose situation. Either way, I'm gonna be hurt. Either way, someone will end up in an effed-up situation. It's been crazy for me just thinking about this. At first, it really did not matter for I never thought I will care. And all this time I never showed I care. I was unfair, I admit. I was selfish, I think.
Now, going back to the day before yesterday, like I said, I did some deep thinking. The day after, there came an inkling. It's just a simple clue which led me to re-evaluate some matters. Maybe it was not a good enough reason but it sure did make an impression. Was it too early for me to give up? The good times we shared flooded over me as I was sitting on a couch, watching Mana Tancia cook dinner. "He used to cook for me," I told Mana with a wide smile across my face. Yeah, it was nothing extravagant but he has a way of making it seem very special. I thought he was a bit clumsy too, like a little boy, but it was adorable. Sigh. I wish we had more time. Maybe it was not meant to be. Still we tried.
It's just nothing for me, now. At least, nothing really serious. I just enjoy the talks and jokes. We're like two little kids just hanging around, waiting for the other one to grow up. I'm sure I'm still naive. I still got a lot to learn especially with this "thing." haha. But I'm not rushing, just waiting for the right time. And who knows, maybe it'll be someone else who's better or, simply, him.
For now, I'll say goodbye. I'll just let the chips fall into their proper places. It's better that way, right? Here's a song I want to share. It perfectly describes my feelings at this moment. :)
Song lyrics | Almost Lover lyrics
xoxo
*I call you a "loser" but you won my heart*
