I feel like a furniture right now... I don't really know how to function effectively. It's as if I'm just there to lighten up the atmosphere and to put some sparks, feathers and butterflies around place. But just like that... I'm nothing more.

I'm currently bored and daydreaming. Staring at my almost finished bowl meal, I can neither find the strength nor the fulfillment of finishing it. I used to believe that eating is leisure. I wondered, what happened to me? Just this week, I had a meeting and was doing all sorts of silly things when someone told me I’ve changed together with my hair. Blame it on the hair as much as you want but now I know exactly how and why.

Let me tell you just how...

#1: I used to be a person with a lengthy attention span. I can hold a conversation with a person all day if we wish to. I was a very attentive person, taking notes of everything, and always the one who has all the answers – the go-to girl.

But I saw how I’ve transformed and now I can’t do anything about it. I can’t stay in a decent conversation for more than an hour. I always space out in conversations. I can’t listen to one person for a long period of time. It’s always like I can’t stay still and I have to do something else right then and there. Is there a cure for short attention span? Celebrities, like Jessica Alba, are showing no shame in admitting they have one but for me it’s utterly displeasing.

#2: I used to take pleasure in doing simple things. Maybe this is also related to the problem with my attention span. But yeah, I can lay still on my bed, just thinking of simple things. I didn’t have to do anything.

Now, I get bored easily. Just like what I said, I feel like time’s wasted when I’m just dilly-dallying or whatever. That’s why I always make things move.

#3: I used to sleep 7 hours or more. I’m not insomniac or anything but I developed this habit of sleeping at 2 or 3 am. I can feel the bad effects now. Worse than hangovers.

#4: I used to be a sensitive friend – in a way that I was always aware of their feelings. But now, I’m this arrogant little girl and it’s not good.

Actually, there’s more but I’m gonna park here first…

I’m trying my best to change. I wish I know how to. I wish it’s that easy and quick. Oh well, one thing's for sure: it's not just my hair.